The Brutally Honest Field Guide to Life

This isn’t your gentle, hand-holding advice. It’s a blunt toolkit of real lessons I’ve learned the hard way. If you want results without the BS, read on.

Always Ask Twice

Core Idea: If the first answer is no or silence, you don’t just walk away. You always ask twice (or even thrice) – each time with a bit more force. Polite, persuasive, aggressive. In that order.

• Tier 1: Polite Ask. Start by asking nicely and respectfully. Most people respond to courtesy, but sometimes they’ll still brush you off or say no out of habit.

• Tier 2: Persuasive Ask. If the first ask gets you nowhere, come back with backup. Bring reasons, data, or incentives that make it hard to refuse. Show them why saying yes benefits everyone (especially you).

• Tier 3: Aggressive Ask. When polite and persuasive don’t cut it, it’s time to be firm and unapologetic. This isn’t about being rude for fun – it’s about showing you mean business. Make it clear you’re not dropping the issue. (Use this tier sparingly, but have it ready in your arsenal.)

Real-Life Example (Coding Freelance):
Early in my freelance coding career, I proposed building a custom CMS for a small e-commerce client. Their standard budget was $2,000.

First ask (polite):
I wrote, “For a PHP-based CMS with product management, user roles, and order tracking, my usual rate is $1,800. Does that align with your budget?”
They thanked me but said they could only allocate $1,200.

Second ask (persuasive):
A few days later I sent a detailed breakdown: database schema design, admin UI, REST API endpoints, and payment integration—all delivered in four weeks. I closed with, “That full scope is $1,800, and I can start immediately.”
They responded, “We really only have $1,200 right now.”

Third ask (direct):
On a brief call, I said, “I can’t deliver the full CMS for $1,200—my rate for that scope is $1,800. If $1,200 is your max, we can drop payment integration and add it later, or proceed with full scope at $1,800. Which do you prefer?”
They agreed to $1,600 for the complete system. I coded the CMS, delivered on time, and both of us walked away satisfied.

Lesson: The first “no” is a default. The second “no” probes constraints. The third, with clear options and firm value, closes the deal.

Don’t Make Jalebis of the Topic

Core Idea: Jalebis are an Indian sweet made of loops and twists of sugary dough. Tasty, yes. But in conversation, making jalebis of the topic means spinning around in sticky circles – and it’s a terrible habit. Cut the convoluted crap. Be direct, be clear, get to the point.

• Get to the Point, Fast. If you have something to say or ask, spit it out. Don’t start with a 5-minute backstory that leaves everyone wondering where you’re going. Busy people appreciate you respecting their time.

• No Sugar-Coating. Being diplomatic is fine, but don’t bury your message under layers of fluff or apologies. You can be respectful and straightforward at the same time.

• Say It, Own It. If you believe something, say it with your chest. Don’t water down your opinion just to sound nice. Confidence (even a bit of bluntness) earns more respect than a dozen hesitant half-statements.

Real-Life Example: I grew up introverted and conflict-averse – basically the king of over-explaining. In college, I once took so long prefacing a simple question that the professor cut me off with, ”Do you actually have a question?” Talk about humiliating. I was making verbal jalebis, tangling up a basic ask until it lost all impact. That day I decided: no more.

Fast forward to my tech job years later. In meetings, instead of tiptoeing around an issue, I’d say, “Here’s the problem, here’s my solution. Thoughts?” Sure, my bluntness stunned a few people at first (especially those used to corporate waffle). But soon enough I became the go-to guy for clarity. Co-workers even began asking me to cut through the nonsense when discussions went in circles. Once I stopped making jalebis of every topic, I found that people actually listened – and things got done faster.

YAGNI Persuasion

Core Idea: YAGNI stands for “You Ain’t Gonna Need It.” It’s a principle from software development, but I’ve dragged it into real life. The idea: do only what’s necessary, nothing extra. No over-engineering, no over-preparing. In persuasion (and in chasing goals), this means minimal effort, maximum focus – don’t do more than you actually need to get the job done.

• No Overkill Moves. Don’t waste energy on grand gestures or over-the-top presentations if a simple conversation will do. Persuasion is about convincing, not showing off—save your big guns for when they’re truly needed.

• Minimal Viable Action. Ask yourself: what’s the smallest step that will push this forward? Do just that and nothing more—whether you’re kicking off a project or negotiating a deal, start with the basics that get the job done.

• Resourcefulness Over Resources. Instead of throwing money or endless planning at a problem, get creative with what you have. Use your current skills, contacts, and tools to make things happen before you consider any fancy add-ons.

Final Notes

These principles aren’t classroom theories – they’re tactics scraped from real wins and ugly fails. Always Ask Twice taught me that persistence pays. Don’t Make Jalebis proved that saying less (but saying it clearly) gets you heard more. YAGNI Persuasion showed me that doing just enough can actually be more than enough.

Take this field guide and test these ideas in your own life. No fluff, no fancy formulas – just raw strategies that * actually work*. Now go out there and get it done, no excuses.

NOTE: AI was used to format and rephrase the text. The ideas are my own.